So You’re Engaged? What Do You Do Now?

Brooke Elward

3 days ago

10 min read

A practical wedding planning guide for newly engaged couples

So you’re engaged?

Oooo, you have a fiancé.

First of all, congratulations! Second of all, if you’re staring at your ring right now wondering what the heck you’re supposed to do next, you are definitely not the first person to feel that way.

There is no rule saying you have to start planning the second you get engaged. If you want to enjoy being engaged for a while, do it! If you’re planning a short engagement or an international wedding that is less than 12 months away, you’re probably going to want to get moving a little faster.

Ideally, I recommend giving yourself about 12 to 18 months to plan a wedding. If you want a longer engagement so you can build up your savings first, even better. There is no prize for planning your wedding the fastest.

So where do you actually start?

1. Figure out your budget

Before you start saving every wedding venue in Michigan on Instagram, sit down with your fiancé and talk money.

I know. Not nearly as fun as looking at dresses.

Start by figuring out the total amount you are comfortable spending. Then figure out where that money is actually coming from. Maybe you have savings. Maybe family members are contributing. Maybe you are planning to save over the next year. Maybe you are using a credit card or taking out a loan.

Whatever your plan is, know what you are working with before you start booking things.

It is also helpful to make a list of things you would be willing to spend less on or completely skip if the budget gets tight. You might have your heart set on a giant floral installation, but if that means sacrificing something else that matters more to you, it is better to know that now.

Your budget is going to come up over and over again throughout the planning process, so give yourself a realistic starting point.

2. Start thinking about your guest list

You do not necessarily need a finalized guest list before booking your venue, but you should have a general idea.

Are you inviting 50 people? 150? 300?

That number can make a huge difference when you are looking at venues.

You can even make a rough invite list before touring venues just to see where your numbers land. You may discover that you have 247 people on your “definitely inviting” list, which is a fun little surprise when you were picturing an intimate 100-person wedding.

Your guest count can also change after you start looking at venues. If you find a venue you absolutely love but it has a smaller capacity, you may decide that you are okay with trimming the list.

Just make sure you know roughly how many people you are working with before signing a venue contract.

3. Find your venue and wedding date

Now you get to start looking at venues.

Michigan wedding venues can book 12 to 18 months in advance, especially during the busy wedding season. Around here, I would consider mid-July through late October to be especially busy.

If you already have a specific date in mind, you may need to be flexible with your venue. If you are flexible on your date, you will have more options.

And if you already know your colors or have a specific wedding theme in mind, keep that in the back of your head while touring venues. Your colors and theme do not have to be decided before your venue, but if you already know you want a certain look, it can help to choose a space that works with it instead of against it.

Before you sign a venue contract, ask questions.

A lot of questions.

Some things I would ask include:

Do you have a list of preferred vendors?
Are outside vendors allowed?
Do you require specific caterers or bartenders?
Where can the ceremony take place?
Are there any photography restrictions?
Is there a getting-ready space?
When can we arrive on the wedding day?
How late can the reception go?
Are there restrictions on candles, decorations or other decor?
Is there a day-of coordinator included?
What is included in the rental price?
What additional fees should we expect?
What is the payment schedule?
What happens if you need to reschedule?

You do not want to find out six months later that the photographer you already booked cannot photograph in the ceremony space you picked.

4. Send those save the dates

Once you have your venue and wedding date locked in, you can officially tell everyone else to save the date!

You do not need to have every little wedding detail figured out yet. You know where you're getting married, you know when you're getting married and that's enough.

This is also a good time to start collecting addresses if you haven't already. Future you will be very thankful that you didn't wait until two weeks before the wedding to figure out where 150 people live.

5. Start shopping for the dress

Okay, now we get to the fun stuff.

I think 12 months out is a really fun time to start dress shopping. It gives you plenty of time to find something you love, get it ordered and leave room for shipping and alterations without feeling like you're racing the clock.

Wedding dresses can take around six months to arrive, so this is one of those things where starting early can save you a lot of stress later.

Personally, I bought my dress before anything else wedding-related and I loved doing it that way. It felt like a way to actually celebrate being engaged instead of immediately turning the engagement into a giant to-do list.

Do you have to do it that way? Absolutely not.

But if you are excited to go dress shopping, I say go enjoy it!

Then come the bridesmaid dresses

Once you've found your dress, you can start looking at bridesmaid dresses.

I recommend ordering bridesmaid dresses around four to six months before the wedding, depending on the company, shipping times and how much time you want to leave for alterations.

Bridesmaid dresses can come much faster than wedding dresses. A wedding dress might take six months to arrive while a bridesmaid dress might take closer to six weeks.

So bride first, bridesmaids second is usually a pretty easy way to approach it.

6. Ask your bridal party

If you already know who you want standing beside you, this is a great time to officially ask them!

And honestly, doing this earlier can make the rest of the planning easier.

Your bridal party will need to know the wedding date so they can save it, plan for travel if necessary and eventually go shopping for their dresses or suits.

It also means you can start including them in some of the fun stuff. Dress try-ons, wedding planning, celebrations... whatever you want your wedding party involved in.

You don't have to have every bridesmaid dress color, bachelorette party plan and day-of responsibility figured out the second you ask them.

You can just start with:

“Will you stand next to me when I get married?”

Then figure out the rest later.

7. Book the vendors who matter most to you

Once you have your venue and date secured, it is time to start booking your other vendors.

From my experience as a wedding photographer, I am usually one of the first vendors couples book after their venue.

That said, there is no official order you have to follow.

If there is a DJ you've been following on Instagram for five years and you absolutely know you want them at your wedding, book them. Same goes for an officiant, florist, videographer or any other vendor you already have your heart set on.

Your priority should be booking the people who are most important to you before their calendars fill up.

For many couples, that means starting with:

Photographer

I typically book weddings 6 to 18 months in advance. I have also booked weddings only one to three months out when couples are planning on a much shorter timeline, but the sooner you can book, the more options you will have.

And your date matters.

I was already booked for the entire month of August 2026 before June 2025. Busy-season dates can go quickly, especially Saturdays.

So if you already know you want a particular photographer, do not wait until a few months before the wedding to reach out.

DJ, videographer and florist

Start booking these vendors in the months following your venue and photographer.

Again, pay attention to who matters most to you. If you have your dream florist picked out, book them before the vendor you feel more flexible about.

Also look at payment plans.

You do not necessarily have to pay for everything all at once. Many wedding vendors have payment schedules that allow you to spread payments out over the months leading up to your wedding.

That can make a big difference when you are trying to stay within your overall budget.

8. Keep checking your budget

This is where your original budget starts meeting reality.

You booked the venue. You booked the photographer. You booked the DJ. You booked the florist.

And then suddenly you're like...

Wait. What about literally everything else?

This is why I recommend keeping some room in your budget for the things you did not think about when you first sat down with your fiancé.

Some of the smaller wedding expenses can add up quickly.

Think about things like:

Envelopes
Postage
Dress and suit alterations
Tips
Marriage license
Name change expenses
Transportation
Rehearsal dinner
Bridal party gifts and favors
Bachelor and bachelorette parties
Cake tasting
Interest from financing or credit cards
Food for you and your wedding party while getting ready

None of these are necessarily huge expenses on their own, but they are very easy to forget when you are building your initial wedding budget.

9. The final few months are about putting the pieces together

As you get closer to your wedding, the planning starts shifting from “What vendors do we need?” to “Okay, how is this entire day actually going to work?”

This is also when some of the things you've been planning for months finally start going out into the world.

Send your invitations

If you have not already, this is the time to get those invitations in the mail.

Make sure you have your final guest list, addresses, RSVP information and all the details your guests need.

And yes, keep an eye on those RSVPs. Your caterer, venue and other vendors may need that final guest count sooner than you think.

Finish the little details

This is when all those little wedding projects you've been putting off start becoming real.

Finish your favors. Gather your table decor. Make sure gifts are ready. Double check transportation. Finish anything that needs to be assembled, labeled, packaged or delivered.

This is also a really good time to make sure your vendors have everything they need from you.

About a month before the wedding is when I usually get more involved with the timeline.

Most couples already have a general idea of how they want their day to go, and I can help work out the photography-related kinks.

If you have absolutely no idea where to start, I can also build a timeline with you from scratch over a video call. Most couples like having the freedom to make their own plans though, so I am happy to work around what you already have.

Your timeline should account for things like getting ready, first looks, wedding party photos, family photos, the ceremony, reception events and couple portraits.

And please remember that your wedding day is not just a list of events. Travel time, buffer time and getting people where they need to be matter.

10. Send your photographer ALL the information

This is one of the biggest things I ask my couples for as their wedding gets closer.

I want to know:

A phone number where I can reach you on the wedding day
Getting-ready locations and times
Ceremony location and time
Reception location and time
Whether you are doing a first look
Number of people in your wedding party
Approximate guest count
Who is walking down the aisle
Your family photo list
Any other important photo requests
When photography starts and ends
Your timeline
Your color palette
Your wedding website
Any family or friend dynamics I should know about
Food arrangements
DJ information
Videographer information
Day-of coordinator information
Other hired professionals

And yes, tell your photographer about the family dynamics.

If there are divorced parents who do not get along, family members who should not be grouped together or someone who absolutely needs to be included in a certain photo, I would much rather know ahead of time than figure it out while everyone is standing in front of my camera.

Your photographer is there to photograph your day, but the more we know ahead of time, the easier it is to keep things moving.

11. One month out: DO NOT procrastinate these things

At one month out, please do not suddenly realize that nobody has paid the photographer, the timeline doesn't exist and half of the wedding party still needs alterations.

This is the time to make sure:

Your payments are handled.

Know what is still owed and when it is due. Do not put off vendor payments until the last possible second.

Your vendors have the information they need.

Communicate with your vendors. Confirm times, locations and anything else they need from you.

Your timeline is done.

It does not have to be perfect on the first draft. Get it together so you have time to work out the details.

Everyone has their wedding clothes.

And I mean everything.

Make sure everyone has their alterations finished and has their shoes, belts, ties, socks, suits, dresses and whatever else they need.

Please do not discover on the morning of your wedding that someone's pants need to be hemmed.

So... what do you actually do after getting engaged?

If you want the short version:

Get engaged. Enjoy it.

Then:

Figure out your budget → get a general idea of your guest count → book your venue → book your highest-priority vendors → keep an eye on your budget → book the rest → build your timeline → communicate with your vendors → get all the little details handled.

And remember, there is no single “correct” way to plan a wedding.

Some couples will have their entire wedding planned two years ahead of time. Some will pull together a wedding in six months. Some people know exactly what they want and some people are figuring it out as they go.

The important part is knowing your budget, knowing what matters most to you and giving yourself enough time to book the vendors you really want.

And if a wedding photographer happens to be pretty high on that list...

Hi. I'm Brooke.

I photograph weddings, engagements and proposals throughout Michigan, and I would love to hear what you're planning.

Now go enjoy being engaged for a minute.

You have a fiancé, remember?